96 - Cussing: What Does the Bible Say?

Are words just words? When the Bible doesn’t give us a list of specific “cuss words,” how do we know where the line is? We explore what Scripture actually says about foul, obscene, and unwholesome speech, looking at passages like Ephesians 4:29, Ephesians 5:4, and Colossians 3:8.

We discuss how language changes over time, whether cultural acceptance changes what Christians should consider appropriate, and how conscience, context, reputation, and our influence on others should shape the way we speak. We also challenge the mindset of asking, “What can I get away with?” and instead ask, “What kind of speech makes my light shine brighter?”

Finally, we turn to James 1 and 3, where the tongue is compared to a bit, a rudder, and a small fire. Our words aren't insignificant—they reveal our hearts and can direct the course of our lives. The goal isn't simply to avoid certain words, but to bridle our tongues and become more like Christ in the way we communicate.

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Transcript

Jon 0:04

Welcome to the Exorder Podcast, where you aim to stir up love and good works through bite-sized biblical discussion. That's what we're gonna do right now. We're gonna discuss a topic that Kyle is gonna present to us. Kyle, what is the topic we're gonna talk about?

Kyle 0:20

Well, a number of years ago, I was a counselor at summer camp, and I had the the little little boys' cabin, you know, like nine and ten-year-olds, like the youngest age group at camp. So that meant an early bedtime, and so I would get him in bed and you know, turn the lights out and tell them, like, with some threats, you better be quiet or else. And then I'd hang around outside the cabin for a few minutes and just see before I went and hung out with my friends, you know, nearby, so I could keep an eye on them, but I'd be out of earshot, so it's like I'd threaten them and just hang around a little bit and listen to make sure they were settled down. And one night a camp, I overheard, you know, standing right outside a window and they did much spotting on them, but I heard one camper go, starts with and I was ready to kick the door and scream at this camper, and he goes, fire truck, and they all start laughing. I was just like starting. Nine and ten. Okay, nine and ten. That's fine.

Are Words Really Just Words

Kyle 1:20

Um, but that that brings up a question that that uh one of our listeners submitted. Uh actually one of our gold star listeners. So uh thank you for the submission. But he he shared a video with me that he found on uh TikTok where it was a you know, quote unquote uh religious Bible influencer, and he was making the observation that, well, words are just words and they don't have any inherent power. And so he just very brazenly uh used three different words um, you know, for uh poop and bleep and bleep. You can bleep those out, John, if you want and make it sound like a only bleep things you actually say. Yeah. Uh so is blackmail. So and he said, Well, they why is one word, why is one version of that word more offensive than another? They're just words. The Bible talks about cursing, as in where you say something, uh, call down evil or say something harmful or hurtful to somebody else. Calling somebody a jerk or an idiot is way worse than any of those quote unquote cuss words that people use today. And you know, I'm paraphrasing, but that's the basic gist of this idea. And I think a lot of people buy into it. Um and so I just want to start with you guys and just say, well, how do you guys draw the line as far as what words do you not use? And where do you draw that line? Like, why are some words off limits? Because when I look through the Bible, I certainly don't see a list of, yay, verily I say to thee, these are the eight no nine naughty words thou shalt not ever say. Where do you guys draw the line? Like, because you don't find that list in the Bible that says these these are the naughty words you you shall not use.

Jon 2:58

Words my kids are not allowed to say. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I haven't crossed the line again.

Kyle 3:02

I can make a list for my kids and tell them like that word is off limits, you know. But as an adult, how do you how do you kind of decide that? What guides you as far as like, well, that's a word I won't use, and and why did you arrive at that conclusion?

Nate 3:14

I guess there's two things, other people and conscience. Like, you know, and my kids, I around my kids, I'm trying. I'm not gonna say the word like, oh, that sucks. I don't really mind saying that around my my buddies, and I don't think that that's apparently you don't mind saying it on our podcast. Yeah, apparently, yeah. Bleep that out, please, John. Um, so so where am I going with it?

Kyle 3:35

Yeah, or like with my kids, it's like, you know, with our kids, I think they're starting to get old enough where we're moving past this, but for the longest time, it's like, you know, uh, oh, you fell on your buns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's still there. We didn't say but.

Nate 3:46

Yeah, we don't yeah, we don't say f in my house. And don't, oh, maybe bleep that. Um we say toot instead. Okay. And so it's like, yeah, at a certain point, you know, you're you're 17 years old and you say, you know, I tooted to your buddies, they're gonna be like, I don't say anything inappropriate ever.

Jon 4:05

Obviously. No, I I I I stay away from the the general first words. And I would say what about the more specific ones? Yeah, those two. Um I stay I I try to basically tote the line of how we've what how and what we've let the kids say and try to kind of adopt that. I think over time, I have 14-year-old and a seven-year-old, and then you know, eleven-year-old split. So I you know the thing but the 14-year-old starting to say things and that maybe he wasn't supposed to say before, and I don't want the seven-year-old to say. And I think that's a there's a natural progression where their language needs to kind of increase and grow, but around the seven-year-old, I kind of still uh though you know the thing, the the one thing that I hear in YouTube videos and I hear kids saying all the time, and it it just has yes, it just that's become the thing that bothers me the most. What the and it's as if they've now found a way around, yeah. Found a way around you know, getting in trouble for things, which I'm just like, no, I don't like that.

Nate 5:14

Yeah, yeah. My middle daughter says that all the time. What the and you're like, kid, okay, calm down.

Jon 5:19

It's not yeah, I I don't like it.

Kyle 5:21

So I I try to all right, but where do you guys draw the line though? Uh like how do you determine that?

Nate 5:28

Okay, so so a couple of things that have guided my thoughts.

Kyle 5:32

So around our kids, you know, we all kind of agree.

Jon 5:33

Around our kids, I say an environment, and then to a certain extent, your conscience. So I mean, just words I just like even if we're talking about something still have a hard time saying certain words like the A-word and stuff like this. Even if I'm talking about something very specific to that, even if I'm reading from the New King James, the King James Version, well that's that's why it's just it's just that's why that's why there's no list of bad words, by the way, is because they they all change.

Kyle 5:59

I mean, you got some

Ephesians And What Counts As Foul

Kyle 6:00

words like Bible, the old older Bibles talk about damnation, and yeah. That that's a word that sounds weird for me to say, yeah, yeah.

Nate 6:07

There's that, and there's uh of that place uh with Tim. I believe we pronounce it shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kyle 6:16

It really is something that does change over time. And so it's like I think some of your answers about conscience or about how it's perceived, I think that's what maybe the TikToker was missing, and he was just very brazenly like, I'll use those words, and look, I'll I'll admit that he does make an interesting point, and maybe it's it's not an either or, it's a yes and kind of point that he's making where it's like, okay, yes, I see your point that that we should be. Maybe we're not as concerned about saying things like idiot or jerk or or you know stuff like that, where we actually curse somebody, but we also like it's a yes, and we we should still be concerned, though, about words that are just foul or obscene or profane. Those are words in our English Bible, and we'll look at the Greek words in just a moment, but it it does change over the course of time, like even in the King James Bible, it first Samuel 25, verse 22 says that so and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave all that pertain to him by morning light, any that against the wall. He basically just says, you know, you're gonna wipe out every single man of that family. But he uses that expression, it's like that maybe that you know that would fly 200 years ago, but like, you know, that now that's just a weird thing to say, and I would be uncomfortable if I caught that scripture reading.

Nate 7:42

Can you imagine if that's how we describe gender? Yeah, we got those who sit on the seat and those who against the wall.

Kyle 7:49

Yeah, well, you know, if you sit down to pee, you're not a man. Exactly. Some people have actually taken that argument. The King James only people have taken that argument. That's what it means. No, it's it's a it's a Hebrew idiom or expression to just talk about men, because you know, women don't do that. But it's it's a weird expression. So that's just my point, though, is that words change meaning. Words, um, the value of a word is typically assigned um to some degree by culture and by predominant opinion. So we do have to always evaluate how these words are perceived. I would say the two scriptures that guide my thinking the most on this would be Ephesians chapter four and verse 29. It says, No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. Or as the New King James Bible says, let no one wholesome word. And when you look that up in Greek, it's exactly what that idea of wholesome is.

Jon 8:47

You know what word that is?

Kyle 8:49

Uh what in in in Greek? Give me a second, I had it pulled up just a second ago. Yeah, so Ephesians chapter 4, verse 29. In the Greek language, that word uh is gonna be sapros. And when you begin to look into its uh meaning, it just means bad, unwholesome, or like literally corrupt. So rotten, putrid, overripe. So it's it's words that have that reaction, they give that reaction of and so there are certain words that you just know in society. And and that kind of begs another question is like the F-word gets so much airtime, it's in every movie, and it's it's everywhere. Is it becoming so ubiquitous and so commonplace that is it is it watering it down to the point where it's not such a bad thing if we say it because no one seems to be bothered by it anymore? Do we want to get that relativistic with this principle here? Or do we kind of dig our heels in and hold our ground and say, no, I mean, we know what that word means, and it's look, some of the other scriptures. So I said Ephesians uh 4, verse 29, but then there's also Ephesians 5 and verse 4, obscene and foolish talk or crude jesting are not suitable. And so a word like the F-word that at its core is kind of sexual connotation, like it doesn't really does it really matter how it begins to be perceived by society when that's what it really boils down to. It's it's it's crude language.

Nate 10:24

I think people make judgments about other people uh based partially based on how they speak. And uh so the words we use matter for our reputation. And Proverbs talks a lot about the value of a good good reputation. And so it it's I I think it's I think it's just important that we we really pay attention to the words that we use, especially you know, depending on the audience that we are that we're around, because we're sending a message about who we are by the words that we use. And I'll just throw this in there. When I was a kid, my mom always used to say, um, the you couldn't find a better word. Cursing like that, cussing like that is a bad excuse for a poor vocabulary. And I like that.

Kyle 11:06

It's and I think when we're asking, like, what is the threshold? How where's the line? And we're trying to get right up to that line. I think we're looking in the wrong place with that kind of question. Oh, yeah. Could you find a better could you not find a better word? I like that. It's suggesting instead of looking for what is the least minimum effort I can get away with and still be considered okay, yeah, rather than what's a better way I could do this? What's a better word I could use? How good could I be? Um, I I also like this quote from uh P. M. Forney uh from his book Choosing Civility, The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct. Says the profanities are the fillers. They take the place of a more sophisticated way of speaking. And that's that's one reason why over my 40 years of life on this earth, I've I've I've been surrounded by people in the northwest that use obscenity at school or you know jobs I've had outside of preaching, that is. And why I've just gravitated away from it is it just sounds it just sounds like stupid talk. Trash. And one of my favorite episodes of SpongeBob is called Rock Bottom, where they get on the bus and miss their stop, and then they go like deep into a trench where it's all these creatures that get no sunlight, and SpongeBob and Patrick are weirded out, and no one understands them because everyone down there uh at Rock Bottom speaks with a with an accent. And so pretty much they go, I don't understand what you're saying. And that's what I hear when people start cursing. It's like it's it's exactly what Forney suggests. It's it's filler words, it's it's almost like a speech impediment. And I like what your mom said there about uh you know vocabulary. Couldn't you pick a better word? Could you find a better way to say that instead of just trying to get like the bare minimum?

Jon 12:56

I was just gonna add, so I did a little research. Evidently, there was graffiti uh from Pompeii that demonstrated that their crude language was a common everyday Roman life thing. And most of the words back then were things around sex, body functions, um, insults, um, slavery, family. So we had the similar things. They didn't have the same words, but they had words. And that's what I would see in um Colossians 3, verse 8, which is uh well, a filter communication in New King James, but it is obscene talk in the ESV. And and that word uh is is different than the one we said before, but it basically means shameful or obscene speech. It is interesting to know that this is not something that's just common today, and societies historically have always uh determined there is a corner of communication over here that is uh obscene or taboo. Every society will do that. And even our society today, I would say it's so prevalent that we use the F-word in use of these words, but we still have rating systems and things that would say they can't be used so many times in family movies. Um, there's it's still inappropriate and not acceptable in schools uh in certain locations and stuff. So I think it's still taboo to an extent, but it's becoming more common in the world.

Kyle 14:21

I think I and I think as I ponder that question, the more prevalent it becomes, do we get a pass on it? And some of the examples we looked at from older words, I think the meaning changed. Like some of those old King James phrases, the meaning changed. It wasn't just that those bad words became more accepted.

Culture Shifts And Reputation Signals

Kyle 14:40

And I think that is a difference. For me, it it's a conscience issue. And if I know, no matter how accepted or commonplace it is, if it is vulgar at its core or its origin, and I would just say that this the way you defined it there is even if it does become commonplace or ubiquitous in our culture, I think that just makes it a very easy way. Like it's low-hanging fruit for us as Christians to set ourselves apart.

Nate 15:04

Yeah. Yeah.

Kyle 15:06

And so we just finished our vacation Bible school where the theme was you are the light of the world, and that comes from Matthew chapter five and uh verse 14, you are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. And then verse 16 says, Let your light shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven. And so I've often let that verse guide me in areas like this. The Bible doesn't tell me what words are good or bad, it just says, use wholesome speech, use words that build up, use positive words, don't use vulgar, foul, obscene speech. It's almost like God says, You're smart enough to figure out what that is. I don't have to spell it out for you. And so I often use that Matthew 5, 16 verse in my life as a filter. If I use this word, and that's that's where there are certain words that in high school I, you know, it's not one of the big five, but it's I don't say to my mom and dad. But I my conscience started bothering me, and that it was this verse that sort of guided my decision, said, you know, if I choose to work this out of my vocabulary, is it gonna make my light shine brighter? Yeah. If I keep saying it, is my light gonna be just a little more dim? Have I hidden a little bit of that light under a basket? Yeah. Because I just want to blend in and I want to sound use words that and all my friends kind of picked up on that. And they're all like, Kyle, you never curse. We want you to say a bad word. Say a bad word, Kyle. I remember one time they were bugging me so much all day that I did, and it just sounded so unnatural. And I was like, I'm kind of glad I did give in because it made me feel stupid. And I was like, that pushed me back in the direction of like, no, there's a reason why I don't talk like them. And I I want them to keep noticing that about me.

Nate 16:45

And I want them to change their language around me, not I think you make a uh really good point about um which which direction are we going? Are we trying to get as close to the line as possible of what's quote right and wrong or like what what's what's a bad word to say? Or are we trying to get as close to Jesus as possible and and what that question you asked, what's gonna make my light shine brighter? Is this gonna make it shine brighter or less bright? I I think that's a better question than um is this um a good word or a bad word, is this a cuss word or not? Um but is it gonna be is it gonna be effective for building up the people around me in this situation? And if it's not, it doesn't matter what the word is, don't say it.

Jon 17:30

But in but to that point, because society has themed and dictated certain words as being obscene or taboo or curse, curse words, you can't ignore that and you have to actually adapt that because people would hear that and make conclusions on it. Based upon that. They they would make conclusions. Well, that doesn't sound like a very um structurally minded person, or I didn't think Christians can't like like they would make that determination. So um I think you still need to you still need to adapt, yeah, what is not wholesome or not like kind, you know, uh for for purposes of spreading God's word, but you still need to adapt to society a little bit there because they are the audience.

Nate 18:18

So that brings up another good point because I have heard uh I heard someone say one time when you're working with Gentiles, you gotta talk like a Gentile. And uh I I wonder sometimes, is there something to

Making Your Light Shine Brighter

Nate 18:30

be said for the the idea of okay, maybe I use some of the words that yeah they use that maybe people would consider to be quote bad words in an effort to build some sort of influence or connection with that person so they don't think, oh, he's just this religious Jesus freak square mob that's you know thinks he's way up here and I'll never listen to him. Um I I don't know.

Jon 18:56

I've just heard that argument used before. I think there's a stronger argument to to not adapting yourself to scenarios and being an honest, genuine person throughout every in any social circle you're going to. Because at some point in time, if you if you reach out to them and you're talking this language over here and then you're bringing them to church, and then they're going to church, and now what are they thinking about you? You know, they well then no one else curses there. Why uh man, he must not have been that great of a Christian. So I think you need to be uh the same person in all aspects of life, otherwise you lose your uh credibility.

Kyle 19:31

I think people respect consistency. Yeah, yeah. You know, look at the example of Daniel. He goes to Babylon, he's like, I'm not gonna eat the food, it'll defile me. Yeah, I'm not gonna quit praying in a public way because it's my custom and I'm not gonna have you change my habits. And so there he did speak the language and and his name was changed, and there were some you know adaptations, but also I don't think in any moral sense, when it came down to things about you know his prayer habits or what he ate, food that was clean or unclean or defiled him, he drew a line there and said and I think people, the king certainly respected Daniel for his consistency, and I think that's important because it's easy to make excuses too. Like, well, you know, I uh I dropped a hammer on my toe, so of course a word's gonna come out. But and I'll just say this that I guarantee you, like, people notice when you don't curse, when you don't swear. And they do. We used to do Monday night basketball when I was when I was a teenager. My dad would ring.

Jon 20:28

Do you just use so many Sam's words cramminitely? Or, you know.

Kyle 20:31

We can share some of our favorite Christian curse words at the end of the episode. But uh, we did Monday night basketball, and it was mostly guys from church, but some would bring a friend, and you know, sometimes those friends would start coming to church with us and and we'd strike up conversations, and they always said that they noticed and appreciated. We don't fight a lot. Yeah, you know, it's it's competitive, hot-blooded men. So yeah, they're a little competitive, but we always apologize or hugged it out, you know. Uh, but we circled up, said a prayer before we played, and they just appreciated and always noticed, like they all noticed, all the visitors noticed that we didn't curse and swear the whole the whole time we were playing basketball. And people always noticed that. That's why my friends were trying to corrupt me and uh and corrupt my speech. But I I I think it's easy to make excuses for it. Um another one is like, well, you know, when I swear, it's like like President Trump, uh, love him or hate him, uh he he's thrown a few F-bombs in there, which is uncharacteristic for a president. But it's like uh the defenders of Trump say, well, that's you know, people know he's serious when he uses a swear word like that. And and I just I don't buy that. That's just being inconsistent. It's like code switching depending on your audience.

Nate 21:42

Well, and you I mean, in that case, you open yourself up to criticism. And isn't it the same, maybe on a less public scale, with us? Like, oh, well, I know Kyle's serious when he drops the F bomb. Well, why don't you just use another word like or say, Hey, I'm really serious, guys.

Jon 22:00

'Cause that's how it's categorized in our culture. Oh, he's using serious talk. You know, like oh, um in the M MPAA rating for serious language.

Kyle 22:09

I don't think that's when I when I hear F-bombs come out, I'm just it's you sound like a dummy.

Nate 22:15

Okay, I got a quick story. It was uh have you ever had those moments where you it's almost like you can see yourself from the outside, like a third person experience.

Kyle 22:26

Yeah, yeah. Where someone else takes the controls inside your brain and you're just a passenger.

Nate 22:30

So I had one of those experiences where I was in the back of my friend's car on the way home from rowing practice in college. I was in rowing and I was uh, you know, cursing like a sailor, and I heard myself, it was like hearing myself for the first time, and I was like, you sound like an idiot. Like, man. And ever since then I have made an effort, imperfectly, but I've made an effort to not use cuss words because it just sounds like you are not very smart.

Jon 23:00

What words were you using?

Nate 23:02

Uh, would you like me to say them here on the air, John? I'll black. But there were well for all of its uh uh problems, the F-word can be used is as every part of speech.

Jon 23:14

So we've we've we've we've all seen like a meme or something where it's it's basically that word has been used for probably up to like 80 different ways. Like, like like it's it's a pretty adaptable word, which it's funny because there's fewer words in society where people adapt to more than just a couple different terms. Like the S-word is but again, think it mean it it can have like three or four different but again, think about how low IQ that is.

Kyle 23:43

People are always like, oh yeah, it's only using one word for it. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, it's because my vocabulary is so limited and I'm I'm not able to think quick enough to think of a word, so I'll just take this one word and just kind of jam it in where it doesn't belong. So it does sound like like just stupid talk to me. Like you sound like a dummy when you use those words because it's just I don't have I don't have a better way to say it. I keep coming back to that idea, Nate. I I really like that. Um, let's see. So I I think getting back to the original TikTok video and all that, I just you know, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus talks about it's kind of a weird de-escalation. We would look at this as, you know, murder, uh, Matthew 5, verse 21. We would look at this as a de-escalation of crime, but also an escalation of penalty, which seems which seems backwards, because he talks about you've heard that it was said of those of old, you shall not murder, and whoever murders shall be in danger of judgment. So murder is the worst, but he says you're in danger of judgment. I say that whoever is angry with his brother without cause shall be in danger of the judgment, and whoever says to his brother Raka, which means good for nothing, shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, You fool, which sounds like the least offensive offense, shall be in danger of hellfire. So it's it's like it's this weird backwards way of Jesus trying to get them to think about. Yeah. So I think the TikToker had a point to make that we do need to maybe be a little more cautious about saying words that demean somebody, words that tear somebody down.

Nate 25:15

Yeah.

Kyle 25:16

Um, while also, I think, based on our conversation at this point, still being mindful of words that are just unwholesome, foul, rotten, and just not worth saying.

Nate 25:26

So so then it's both the actual word itself and then also the meaning behind words themselves. Because, you know, you could take an intellectual person with a great vocabulary and they can tear you apart. Kind of like in Happy Gilmore. Is it Happy Gilmore or Billy Madison, where the teacher says, in no way did that resemble a coherent Billy Madison. Yeah, yeah.

Kyle 25:48

And we are all we are all dumber for having heard that.

Nate 25:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so it's it's not only just the word, but also um how you're using it and what's the meaning behind

James On The Tongue And Integrity

Nate 26:00

it.

Kyle 26:00

Yeah. Well, I I think if I could wrap this up or try to bring this to some sort of conclusion, I I was thinking of James and what James he's got, he's got a lot to say about the tongue and speech. And I I think the fact that James devotes so much uh concern. Uh in chapter one, he says in verse 26, if anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless. It's worthless. And the fact that James gives so much attention then in the third chapter to this topic, it tells me it's too important to just kind of sleep on this and and be like, well, words are all relative and don't think about it, don't worry about it. Everyone says it, who cares? Look, I've tried and I've I've been successful um at times too with taking words and saying, I don't think I want to say that anymore, and trying to root them out. And it's hard. Just pick a word in your vocabulary and say, I'm gonna stop using that word and avoid it. And it's hard. But God calls us to do hard things, God challenges us to raise our conduct higher and higher so that our light shines brighter and brighter, so that the image of Jesus is more clearly visible in us. And so it should take some hard work and effort. And the fact that if we don't bridle the tongue, I mean, for me, that's just part of it, too, is bridling means you you put some control, you put the reins on it, you are in control, not letting your tongue just and speech take you wherever. Because what really frightens me is if you look over in James chapter three, my brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he's a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships, though they are so large or driven by fierce winds, they're turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and it boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles. So what he's saying here is, and and I've kind of missed this point when he compares it to uh a bit in a horse's mouth or a rudder on a ship, and he says, Not men, let not many of you become teachers. We think, well, because you know you might say the wrong things or mis mislead somebody, and you need to be really careful about teaching and knowing the truth, so you teach the truth accurately. And that's not really his concern here, is it's that you incur a stricter judgment and that you better have your tongue under control. And the point by comparing it to those things is the the the rudder turns the whole ship, the bit uh directs the horse. If you have unbridled speech, you are gonna have unbridled behavior. And if you cannot control your tongue, if your your tongue is filthy, your behavior will become filthy. Because the tongue is the bridle that directs as you speak, so you do. Is sort of what I'm taking away from this. So I look at scriptures like this, and it is just too serious of a topic to take lightly and to not try and do my absolute best. So yeah, maybe that TikTok video made some good points and gave us something to think about. I don't think I'm gonna start brazenly saying what I've always thought and believed to be bad words because I don't want my religion to become worthless.

Nate 29:34

You bring up a good point, Kyle. Could you could you use those uh filthy words, could you use those cuss words and still be living uh like a pure life? Like the point that James is making is this small thing that directs where you're going. The rudder of the ship, the bit in the horse's mouth, the tongue in in your mouth. It directs where you're going. So could you use filthy speech, unwholesome language, um, and still be going in the right direction? I think the point is, no, you can't.

Kyle 30:09

Well, and in verse 11 of chapter 3, he says, Does a spring send forth both fresh water and bitter water from the same opening? And I think that's when, and he talks about in this chapter too, about with the tongue, we praise our God, and then we turn around and curse man who's made in the image of that God. And that's so inconsistent. And so when we come and use one type of language, when we're gathered together as a church and worshiping God, it's like we think we're fresh water. If you go out the rest of the week and the water's polluted, it doesn't mean you're fresh water one day, you're you're polluted water the whole time. You know, the the one spring doesn't produce two different kinds of water. You're just faking one of them. And and so again, the kind of language I would use when I'm in the church with my brethren I shouldn't have a different kind of different standard of speech the rest of the time. Otherwise I'm fooling myself into thinking I I'm a tree that can bear two kinds of fruit. It doesn't work that way.

Jon 31:14

Is

What We Hear Versus What We Say

Jon 31:15

there a difference between what we allow into our ears then what we allow out of our mouth? And how how well should we is it an individual thing, individual threshold of um regulating that? If you don't have a problem saying it, you can allow as much of it in. Or is it yeah, how do you guys feel about that? I I found that using like something like Vid Angel on movies, I can remove a good 20% of all the audio in a in a movie. There's a lot of these little gaps and stuff, but it's actually been beneficial because I don't have the conscious conscience issue that I have with it's like, hey, there's something I do want to watch that movie, but it's got a lot of language. It doesn't have anything else in it. I can go ahead and filter all this out. And and I look at that and I'm like, okay, well that's that that satiates my my issue around it. But I don't know that I can say hey, everyone else should be concerning about too, unless we do see there is a a strong connection between what you allow in your ears and what you allow in your mouth. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, 1 Corinthians 15 33. Yeah, but like if I don't have a problem with saying it and I'm really good at regulating it, is it then up to my own personal self-management to say, well, it's okay. I'm allowing myself to hear all this, even though I'm not gonna say it.

Kyle 32:50

Which would be that depends. Is the story in the TV show like really, really, really good and thought-provoking? Then maybe that makes it okay.

Jon 32:56

Okay, right? It's no, no, no. You make a well, because I mean when dry bar comedy came up, it's like some of it's funny, some of it's not funny. I like that funny stuff. The the curvy ones and cook. Yeah, there you go. Um, I just and I and I don't think it's popular because uh of a conversation because it's so hard to find media, music, movies, shows, anything without it into it. It's so prevalent that it is really hard to regulate it from coming into our ears. But that's the question. I mean, I I yeah, what do you think?

Kyle 33:32

John, I think you make some good points here because I I've always said not enough.

Nate 33:37

We're moving on. Pretty much you're wrong, but not all wrong.

Kyle 33:41

Well, it's it's not a Bible verse, but I always I think it is a biblical principle of garbage in, garbage out. That's what I was thinking.

Jon 33:48

Yeah, but if it if it's not like who I I do believe that a lot of the times everything is there's so much self-management that needs to happen in this, you know, yeah, less from maybe a pulpit, more from people making good choices and regulating what they have problems with and then addressing those things, you know, being honest with oneself and saying if I have a problem with this one, then I need to create a solution for it. But that being said, can we lie to ourselves too and say it doesn't have an effect at all?

Kyle 34:16

Well, and this is where it's like you have to you have to understand that there is some subjectivity to it, is in like subjective is in where do I find myself lining up? But the Bible doesn't define what's a bad word. It's like with my kids, it's like my kids say buns, but other kids they said but that's a bad well, okay, that's it's up to their parents to decide to them. Like, yeah, and as adults, we still kind of have the same thing. Like, should we watch R-rated movies? And some people are like, absolutely not.

Jon 34:40

Others are like, well, but I get what you're saying, Kyle. There is some subjectivity, but we already identified that there.

Kyle 34:46

However, there is some commonality. There are there are principles here as far as where specifically you line up on should you listen to any songs at all that have bad words and watch any movies at all, or is it like, where do you draw your line like, well, this is too much, this is too dark. There's a little subjectivity there, but I also think the reason that's there is this is I'm starting to understand what my wife meant when she said, but I want you to want to do the dishes.

Jon 35:13

Yeah, why isn't it bothering you? That's a why doesn't it change?

Kyle 35:16

She can't be the one making me do it. I have to look at it and say, I want to do it to please her. And but I think if if I start, but my point is if I start drawing the line for you and say you can't watch an already, it's like, well, now you're just you're doing what I'm telling you. You're not doing what you believe to be right or wrong. But a principle here is Ephesians 5, verse 11, it says, have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, because we're in the light, but rather expose them, for it's shameful even to speak of these things which are done by them in secret. You know, that's one of those principles I look at that says, again, how much filth do I want to let into my life? Well, that's the wrong question. If it's filthy and I find it to be filthy, then I should want to choose because I am in God's light and I want to be walking as a child of his light. I should choose, therefore, I'm just not gonna be part of it. I'm not even gonna talk about this stuff. I don't want to perpetuate it.

Jon 36:15

Yeah, let me be clear that I don't think I think we are actually really good generally. People are really good about being able to separate what we hear versus what we put out. I mean, you think about some people who are like police officers and stuff, you know, yeah. You you hear a lot of stuff out there. Do I expect them to turn around and that that's what they put out and that's what they feel is acceptable? No, I and teachers, right? People will hear all kinds of stuff. And I don't think that what what always goes in is what's gonna come out.

Kyle 36:48

I bet you've thought about hitting a child on more than one occasion, Nate.

Jon 36:54

I thought you were curse words. It's only cheating if you get caught. I just it's not that I think I I know lots of people who probably don't have problems with John is judging you if you don't have good angels who don't have problems with certain things. And I've never heard them say a curse word. It's not like I I think one is correlating. I'm just trying to understand as I raise my kids and as I uh I have certain language around, maybe in the house or a radio or whatever it is. It's like it's is it enough just not to say it? Or do we need to filter it even further?

Kyle 37:29

Like, is it just walk as a child of light? I I think that's the guiding principle I look to is I I want to walk as a child of light. And that does include what I subject myself to versus just only thinking about what do I put out there?

Nate 37:43

Well, and God didn't give us black and white direction on every single little thing that we are to do. He gave us some uh some principles to to go by so that we could judge for ourselves, hey, is this a good thing for me or is this not a good thing for me? Am I becoming closer to Jesus by doing this or am I going further away? And he doesn't spell out every single little scenario where where that is the case. And that's where kind of that idea of maturity comes in. We do have to make a judgment for ourselves, okay, um, is this going to be a good situation for me? Can I can I handle this? Is this you know the best thing I could do in this situation? Maybe it's not sinful for me to, I don't know, watch that R-rated movie or whatever. Uh maybe it is, but maybe it's not, but maybe it's not the best thing for me. So as a mature Christian, I'm just gonna say, you know what? I I'll go the other way. I'll I'll watch something else, or I'll turn on Vid Angel or whatever.

Jon 38:43

I wish I could get sponsored by that one. Today's sponsor, Vid Angel. I honestly it was a recommendation from another brethren, and I thought that was actually really and I we we use it, especially when the kids want to watch something, and I just can go through and and know exactly what they're gonna do. To an instagree, what's gonna be in there and remove it all. And my kids even now just ask, Hey, hey, I'm I want to, we're having a sleepover, we want to watch this movie. Can you you know can you filter it, you know, so we can watch it? And I think that's a good um practice to get them thinking about that you know, things should be filtered, life should be filtered and addressed.

Kyle 39:24

So I want to finish with a weird story in Judges chapter 12 that you may or not have read, but there was a little quarrel between the judge Jephthah and uh his people from Gilead. So you had the Gileadites, and the Ephraimites came over and said, Hey, why didn't you invite us to fight with Ammon? You took all the glory for yourself. Then Jephthah's like, I did ask you, and you didn't come, and so I had to fight all by myself, you know, just us Gileadites, and without your help, thank you very much. And so a war broke out, and the Gileadites they they mopped the floor with the Ephraimites and they captured the fords of the Jordan, so the river crossings, and so it says in Judges 12, verse 5, they seized the fords of the Jordan before the Ephraimites arrived, and when any Ephraimite who escaped said, Let me cross over, the men of Gilead would say to him, Are you an Ephraimite? And if he said no, then they would say to him, Say the word Shibaleth. And he would say, Sibyleth. For he could not pronounce it right. I guess they had kind of a lisp in Ephraim. And then they would take him and kill him in the fords of the Jordan. There fell at that time 42,000 Ephraimites. When's the last time you thought about that story? But there's a simple point I'm making here. The Ephraimites lied about who they were, said they were somebody they weren't. But their speech revealed the truth. You might tell the world you were a follower of Jesus. But if you don't work at bridling your tongue, your words will give you up for what you really are.

Nate 40:57

Kyle, that was a that was a good uh a good episode on something that we're all exposed to or have struggled with in some way, and uh definitely some food for us to think about the words that we are using, not just cuss words, but are they bringing us closer to God or moving further away from him? Is it making our light shine brighter or less bright? So uh thank you for for that episode, Kyle. And if you found this to be good, then please like, subscribe, and share with all your friends.

Jon 41:34

Welcome to the the Welcome. Welcome. What did I say to uh biblical bite-sized biblical discussion?

Nate 41:43

Do you want me to? What did we do last time? Conversation bite-sized biblical discussion. That's what we do last time. Destroying strongholds.

Kyle 41:52

You turned out my headphones a little bit. Your voice is very loud. My voice is loud. Yeah.

Nate 41:58

How's my voice? Incorrect.

Jon 42:00

I I would say it's more like sharp, piercing. Check one, two, one, two, three. Is that better? That's better. That's better. Okay. Nate, are you so sensitive to or are you fine?

Nate 42:09

No, I I'm pretty. Okay. Okay there, big fella. Alright, that's a little better now.

Jon 42:16

I like to hear myself, sorry.

Nate 42:19

That's okay. That's okay. You uh that's why you started the podcast. That's why you essentially so you can hear yourself. The whole point. Yeah. What why else have a podcast?

Jon 42:30

Why go through the painstaking effort of editing a podcast and you don't enjoy? Which is really funny because those are the episodes.

Kyle 42:38

So Ryan got excited when I told him we were recording the one about cuss words, and he's like, oh great! When John uh edits it in 68. His words not mine. So, like, okay, well, what makes a what makes a curse word or a cuss word? What is foul speech? How do we define that? And then maybe I want to emphasize what excuses do we make? Oh, well, you know, people know I'm serious when I curse. People uh they'll take me serious.

Jon 43:04

This is gonna be an interesting topic because I don't talk to people on a regular that curse. So I never hear any any excuses why.

Nate 43:12

They don't curse around me, so I don't know.

Jon 43:15

Right, so I you know.

Nate 43:18

It is kind of funny when when they oh. Oh, you like to curse Kyle?

Jon 43:22

I mean, oh he likes to hang around people too, I guess.

Nate 43:25

Oh, oh. Which of the elders are you referring to? I do admire Kyle how you don't need notes. You're just like brrrr.

Kyle 43:37

And then it turns out I wouldn't say that I don't need notes.

Nate 43:40

And then it turns out excellent. And I'm over here going, I read my stuff exactly, and I thought it was great, and it's not, and it's not.

Jon 43:47

Kyle, I admire how you just don't care what people think about you. Even when you should. Shrimp. And shrimp.

Nate 43:59

Yeah. Like boat, but another word for purpose.

Kyle 44:02

Because that's that's what they say. That's one of the SpongeBob curse words, is he goes, holy shrimp! He actually said that in a kid show. Nice. Yeah.

Jon 44:10

Well, it would have been fine if they didn't add the holy in front of it. Yeah.

Kyle 44:14

Or they'll or they'll say, fish paste. Fish paste. Barnacles. Oh, a barnacles. That's another one they use Spongebob all the time. There's a couple others they use, but