Exhorter Podcast
Welcome to the Exhorter Podcast where we aim to stir up love and good works, through bite-sized biblical discussion. This local effort of the Church of Christ located in Clovis California is hosted by Kyle Goodwin, Paul Nerland, Nate Shankels, and Jon Bradford.
Exhorter Podcast
66 - Sarcasm: Tool or Trap?
Is sarcasm a clever tool or a dangerous trap? In this episode, we explore how sarcasm shows up in the Bible, from Elijah’s sharp mockery of Baal’s prophets to Job’s biting responses to his friends. While sarcasm can highlight absurdity and deliver truth with wit, it can also harm relationships when used carelessly. We’ll share biblical examples, personal stories, and insights into how sarcasm can enhance communication—or derail it—depending on the intent and audience. Join us as we navigate the fine line between humor that builds up and sarcasm that tears down.
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Welcome to the Exhorter podcast, where we're going to stir up love and good works through bite-sized biblical discussion. Welcome back. Well, Kyle, you have our topic today. What are we going to be talking about?
Speaker 2:Well, we are going to talk about sarcasm, and first thing we should do is define it. Who wants to volunteer to define sarcasm? Let's say it. I'm faster. Let's go this way Put it in your own words and I'll give you some dictionary definitions.
Speaker 3:Chad JBT is faster than you, sarcasm. Sarcasm is a form of verbal irony where someone says the opposite of what they really mean, often in a mocking or humorous way. It's usually used to express contempt, criticize or make a point in a sharp or cutting manner.
Speaker 2:A lot of the definitions of sarcasm will oscillate between those two extremes. One of it will be emphasizing. It's a sharp, often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or even give pain. So that has a very negative connotation. But it can also be a mode of satirical wit, depending for its effect on bitter, caustic and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual. So it certainly can have that connotation of causing harm or insult or slamming someone. But it can also simply be a literary device to draw attention to something. When you're sarcastic people tend to pay attention. So I guess the basic gist of sarcasm is when what you say isn't precisely what you mean, is when what you say isn't precisely what you mean. This is why Vulcans, for example, struggle with sarcasm, because they're very literal beings. Do we need a Star Trek reference?
Speaker 1:I mean, you already did that.
Speaker 2:Well, a really entertaining quote I came across was from Oscar Wilde, and most people just quote the first half of it Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and so it's often thought of as a negative thing. But the full quote from Oscar Wilde, I believe, goes something to the effect of sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence. Being a bit sarcastic in that comment itself Is sarcasm a literary device?
Speaker 3:I mean irony is right.
Speaker 2:I think sarcasm is a form of irony, or it can be yeah, type of verbal irony yeah, and irony is uh. You know, a good example of irony would be writing a whole song about irony. That is just about bad luck or misfortune and not actually ironic. That's a little ironic, don't you? Don't you think? Don't you think I'm not that smart?
Speaker 3:That went over my head. Oh, sarcasm, that super obvious way people say exactly what they mean all the time, totally straightforward, no hidden meaning at all. The sarcastic definition of sarcasm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, is that what that was?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Do you want me to read it again? Yeah, I can read it again for you.
Speaker 1:of course Was that chat GPT that did that.
Speaker 3:No, it was my brain. Oh sarcasm. It's just that super obvious way people say exactly what they mean all the time Totally straightforward, no hidden meaning at all.
Speaker 2:Is that what you're talking about? That's a definition we can work with. Well, sarcasm can be a pretty powerful tool to get people's attention, and we have quite a few examples in scripture Some I don't know if they're either neither good nor bad, they're just examples of sarcasm. Some examples are definitely bad. We'll look at some forms of sarcasm that Christians should avoid, and I think there are some examples that accomplish some good things and we'll look at some examples that even Jesus himself used sarcasm at times. First example that comes to my mind is in Job, chapter 12.
Speaker 2:When I think about Job's friends, there's a lot of criticism about what they did. They came and sat with their friend in silence for a time, and that was good. And then they started talking and telling him he's an awful person and that's why God's angry with him. He must have done something, he's a sinner, that's why God took away everything from him. And well, if I'm Job, I'd feel pretty hurt by that too. And so he responds in chapter 12 and verse 2, no doubt you are the people and wisdom will die with you.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a great example of some of the most common dictionary definitions of sarcasm. That we read earlier is where what you say isn't exactly what you mean. You mean essentially the opposite. He's telling them on the surface they are the wisest people in the world and when they die, all wisdom will be gone from the face of the earth. But that's obviously not what he means. It's meant to be a rebuke, because the wisdom they're giving him, he thinks, is not sound at all. He thinks it's terrible wisdom. So he's he's responding in a way that's critical of them, maybe a bit biting, possibly insulting. But is it justified here?
Speaker 3:I was gonna say he's mocking them. He's mocking them. Oh, you're so smart yeah, is it?
Speaker 2:does it feel justified here? I don't know how to categorize this is a good or bad example. I kind of feel like his three friends sort of have it coming.
Speaker 3:Well, given the situation, I think I would bear with Job in this. I think I would side with him, yeah. Yeah, he was justified.
Speaker 1:Sometimes friends have it coming.
Speaker 2:That was really profound, john, that was really profound. Sometimes two or three friends have it Now one example that I think we all know, and it's a story that if you don't laugh at this one, then there's something wrong with you. It's just one of the more humorous stories in the Bible, First Kings, chapter 18.
Speaker 3:Is this Elijah. This is Elijah. Yeah, yeah, that's the one I wrote down.
Speaker 2:Yeah, where he's got that showdown with all the prophets of Baal. And they set up their altars and cry out to your God and I'll cry out to mine and whichever one sends down fire, we'll have this showdown and see which God is real. And they're going at it all day long. They're just whipping themselves till blood is pouring out. And in 1 Kings 18 and verse 27, it was at noon that Elijah mocked them and said cry aloud, for he is a God. Either he's meditating or he is busy, or he's on a journey, or perhaps he is sleeping and must be awakened. So they cried out louder, cut themselves and, as was their custom, with knives and lances, until the blood gushed out on them. And well, we know how the story goes he soaks his altar till there's water everywhere, puddles of water, buckets of water and he prays, and God sends down fire and it consumes all the prophets. And he proves his point. But this one definitely seems justified, because he is defending God in this instance. Was sarcasm necessary here?
Speaker 3:Wait wait, wait. What translation is it that says that he was relieving himself?
Speaker 2:I'm not sure there's a little ambiguity, but there are some translations. And if you put it in modern vernacular it says well, where's your God? Is he on a break? Is he in the bathroom? Are some translations? And if you put it in modern vernacular says well, where's your god, is he? Is he on a break? Did, yeah, is he in the bathroom?
Speaker 3:yeah, that, that's what I remember from this verse uh, I don't know what version I read it in, but it was like maybe he's relieving himself I was like, oh okay, yeah, that's sarcasm for sure well, yeah, because what he's doing is he's using sarcasm to highlight, to draw attention.
Speaker 2:He could have just said hey guys, what you're doing isn't working, but it didn't have the same dramatic effect to draw attention to how ridiculous their whole premise is. If your God is really a God, then where is he?
Speaker 1:Where is he? Isn't that similar to using illustrations or parables when you're trying to convey something with emotion? Or trying to get people to really understand something. Humor and you know suggesting and sarcasm and kind of mockery. It can actually make a staunch point that people aren't getting make a staunch point that people aren't getting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's where we can see some positive uses for sarcasm or even mockery to a certain degree. It's not inherently wrong, but if you're drawing attention and highlighting how you say, something matters probably even more than what you're saying. Sometimes they both matter. What you say matters, clearly, but how you say it can make all the difference in how it's interpreted.
Speaker 3:I think that's the purpose of, like all literary devices you are trying to make a point and you're going to do it in a way that is effective, because, like you said, kyle, I could come up and say well, guys, what you're doing isn't working, yeah, yeah, yeah, just give it some time, right? Whereas if I say, oh, just call on your God a little louder, you know, maybe he's using the bathroom. Well, now, that kind of cuts a little deeper, that makes the point a little bit, you know, more effectively, and that's something that we're going to remember. Whereas if I just said, hey, it's not more.
Speaker 2:And this isn't the only spot in the Bible Isaiah 44, if you read about verses 14 through 17, Isaiah is mocking the idols that plagued Israel at that point in their history and using this illustration that highlights and again he could have just said stop worshiping idols. But God did that hundreds of years earlier with the Ten Commandments right, Don't worship idols. But God did that hundreds of years earlier with the Ten Commandments right, Don't worship idols, Don't make a molded image of God or a carved image or anything like that. So God tried the straight approach, but through Isaiah, in chapter 44, he uses this humorous illustration to just show how ridiculous an idol really is. Well, with one chunk of wood, you'll cut up part of it and start a fire and cook your breakfast. And with the rest of of wood, you'll cut up part of it and start a fire and cook your breakfast. And with the rest of the wood, you'll carve a God and worship it.
Speaker 3:Makes sense to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just showing how stupid that whole idea of idol worship is.
Speaker 1:Except for if you did that in Indiana Jones, it would come alive and destroy everything my daughter Bae, got to ride Indiana Jones for the first time this last week.
Speaker 3:Cause.
Speaker 2:I was in Disneyland, yeah, and uh, I told her not to look in the eyes and she was. She was like almost tearing up. She was scared, like uh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So with sarcasm we can see there are some useful times, uh, to make your point more effectively through sarcasm. Another great one is Micaiah. That one's humorous too. First Kings 22, uh, ahab uh says let's consult a prophet, and Micaiah uh says, uh, yeah, go up and go ahead, go for it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, go fight them and see. And he's like well, that's not, that's not what God told you to tell me. Now go up and fight them, ahab, and see what happens. He's lying to him, but for humorous effect. So there's lots of examples of that.
Speaker 2:At times, even Jesus himself used sarcasm, for example in John, chapter 10 and verse 31,. The Jews took up stones against him to stone him, and he answered them. Many good works I have shown you from my father. For which of these works do you stone me? You're going to stone me for doing good things. Which good thing? A little bit of sarcasm there, just a little hint, but it's there. But Paul, I think Paul is the New Testament master of sarcasm. He's fluent in sarcasm throughout many of his letters to the Galatians. In Galatians, chapter five, he's dealing with the Judaizing teachers. We often call them. They are Christians, but Jewish Christians, who are insisting that all, in particular Gentiles, have to keep the customs of the law of Moses, which includes circumcision. And I had to pull up a different translation for this one. It says in the contemporary English version, galatians 5 and verse 12, I wish everyone who is upsetting you would not only get circumcised, but would cut off much more. Next level.
Speaker 2:I don't know how much of a punch that had in the original Greek, but I think that that's what the contemporary English version is trying to convey here is that Paul is showing some sarcasm, but I think the best example we can look at of sarcasm that teaches us how to use it properly these have all just been fun, humorous stops through the narrative of scripture, but I think 1 Corinthians 4 is probably the most instructive text we have about criticism. So here in this example Paul is writing to the Corinthians. It's a church that he took no money from because he thought it was best to avoid that. He didn't want the accusations of doing it for the money, like some of the other teachers that they were enamored with and wanted to separate himself. So he said for the sake of the gospel and for the sake of Christ's kingdom, I will take nothing from them. And notice how he words this here in 1 Corinthians 4, beginning in verse 8.
Speaker 2:You are already full, you were already rich.
Speaker 2:You have reigned as kings without us, and indeed I could wish you did reign that we also might reign with you, For I think that God has displayed us, the apostles last, as men condemned to death, For we have been made a spectacle to the world, both to angels and to men. We are fools, for Christ's sake, but you are wise in Christ. We are weak, you are strong, you are distinguished, but we are dishonored. To the present hour, we both hunger and thirst and we are poorly clothed and beaten and homeless, and we labor, working with our own hands being reviled. We bless being persecuted, we endure being defamed, we entreat. We have been made as the filth of the world, the offscouring of all things, until now. He's an apostle commissioned by Christ to be this foundational figure in his kingdom. But he's writing to the Corinthians saying you are king and you are wise and we're fools and you guys are rich and we're just stupid filthy apostles yeah, yeah, we're the worst of all people in this world because I don't make any money.
Speaker 2:He's drawing attention to the fact that they would elevate other teachers above him for the wrong reasons. However, look at the next verse, verse 14. I do not write these things to shame you, but, as my beloved children, I warn you. So when we talk about sarcasm, it can be a very effective tool to highlight the point you are trying to make, but make sure you're doing it for a good reason. Is my takeaway from this? He's not doing this just to insult them just for the sake of well, you hurt my feelings. Now I'm going to hurt you back. I'm going to say something that bites a little bit. See how you like it. I'm not trying to shame you. I'm trying to warn you. I'm trying to wake you up and realize how stupid you're being by following these teachers instead of following Christ.
Speaker 3:It seems like maybe sarcasm should be the like second or third tool in the belt as opposed to the first tool in the belt, like if you're if you're really trying to make a point with somebody.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't lead off with it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, maybe maybe you lead off with you know that that uh warm and kind and like, hey, you know, maybe we could do that differently, or I noticed this just something kind of soft. And then you know, for tool number two or tool number three, if they don't get the point, then you, then you bring out the bigger hammer, right Well?
Speaker 2:it depends on your audience too, when we look at the examples of sarcasm in Jesus uh, he, he saved it for the pharisees and the scribes and the priests, the ones you people should know better, yeah, yeah you can even do it in that context without it being a mockery too.
Speaker 1:It could be like well, it'd be a situation where you're talking to someone you can be like, well, obviously you know we don't have any struggles in the flesh right, like you're kind of using it like a tool to get them to self-reflect. You know where it's not necessarily you're mocking them, but you're basically saying the negative, so the positive that they're reflecting on it. Obviously you don't have any problems with this, right, you know that can be a little sarcastic.
Speaker 2:That can be like a little None whatsoever.
Speaker 1:Right, that can be like a little bit sarcastic, and I think that that's still in a kind of like transparent and kind of like getting someone to think about something in a different way versus you know, it's the way you say it, right. At that point it'd be like, well, you're just perfect, aren't you?
Speaker 2:Like that's mockery with sarcasm. But well, obviously you know we're perfect, right? Yeah, if what you're doing, if what you're doing isn't working, then maybe change it up with the with a little bit of sarcasm.
Speaker 1:So far, you've just been giving three sarcastic people lots of pats on the back and I feel really good about the amount of sarcasm they use. When can sarcasm go wrong?
Speaker 2:Well, is it just me, or does Genesis chapter four, when God confronts Cain where's your brother? Is it just me, or does his response sound a little bit of sarcasm? Anytime?
Speaker 1:I have said that to my parents. It came off a little bit.
Speaker 2:What am I? My brother's keeper? Yeah, yeah, oh, anytime I've said it came off a little bit.
Speaker 3:What am I? What am I? My brother's keeper? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've said that myself. I try to use that, maybe a few times.
Speaker 2:I would not use sarcasm in dealing with God. Yeah, oh boy, I don't. I don't think that's going to go over well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, or yeah to your parents.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and obviously I think that you can tell when it's not working with people or maybe you can't, and that's kind of the the danger of using it in a sense of not going, not not making sure someone understands that you're. You know, the first time you tried is with caring and love. If they just hear the sarcasm and think that it's a derision that you're trying to.
Speaker 1:I think people are hard to read, and so I think that that's the problem is, sometimes you can use sarcasm with people and they aren't if they do not identify sarcasm well.
Speaker 3:Oh right.
Speaker 1:They're just thinking it's straight up mocking or you're being real truthful?
Speaker 2:Sometimes I like to use sarcasm in those scenarios because they don't even know what I just did. Yeah Well, I'm sure you do?
Speaker 3:Kyle, uh, yeah, what'd you see? Nate gets it. Do I uh? Do I uh? So both of you guys are just talking about um? Know your audience. Know your audience. Who are you talking to Like, like with my kids? Kids? I know one of them I can be very stern with and she's going to get the point and it's not going to like damage her. She's not going to go pout, she's just going to do what daddy said Graceland, right? No, she is disobedient to the nth degree. We'll get there, honey. That's his six month old. Six month old.
Speaker 2:I think I'm close enough for that one. Yeah, you're good. Yeah, you win a point, all right. But your other kid.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, no. But then the other one if I am stern with her, she will literally crack like an egg. Yeah, and so it's. And so it's. Knowing your audience, there are some people who I can be sarcastic with and they will get it, and they will get the point and they'll go. Okay, that's the point that Nate was trying to make. And there are some people who you can be sarcastic with and they'll be like that guy is a jerk. I hate him and I don't want to do anything he suggests to me. Why? Because he made fun of me.
Speaker 1:So confession. So there was one time where I use sarcasm and I use humor as a way to sometimes deflect my own uncomfortableness, let alone maybe for a group of people.
Speaker 2:But I remember someone that's what I use food for.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember someone was having me meet someone brand new they brought to the church and I took that as a great opportunity to kind of slightly dig personally but, like you know, funny at that person, oh yeah yeah, and they felt I I wasn't supporting what was the best way to say that.
Speaker 1:so so like you, felt it was inappropriate at that time because they were trying to win someone over to you know um us and our caring and our you know our brotherly love and was here. Maybe they didn't see that I was being sarcastic and just kind of playing with this person, but sometimes I would do that with people. I really like and kind of little jab here Good natured rib like.
Speaker 3:Oh you know, this guy Boy, that's tough, I know.
Speaker 1:I don't think I've ever had a conversation with Julio, a friend of ours. I don't think I've ever had a conversation where I wasn't just digging at him, or sarcastic. That is just the relationship we have. John is very loving, yeah, but, but, but. Well, but in this case, this person pulled me aside and said that they didn't really feel like that was the right time.
Speaker 1:And that was just a reminder that, yeah, sometimes you got to check the things you say and the way that you approach things. It's not about you, right it's. It's not about you know. It's not about you, right it's it's not about you know. It's not about your intentions, yeah, but how things are received to people.
Speaker 3:So knowing your audience is a very important piece and it's a little more difficult to say things when you're a ginger, you know you come across wrong.
Speaker 1:Obviously a lot right. I mean, when you check the media I was gonna say we don't have a soul, no one really takes you.
Speaker 2:That's right, that's right seriously anyways. Well, when you have a giant pot of gold that you're always trying to protect and always worried, about.
Speaker 2:You have to be a little bit on edge at all times. Well, so the first negative example, the first warning with sarcasm is if you're going to be sarcastic with God, just don't do it, and I think this carries over to God appointed leaders as well. Don't do it, and I think this carries over to God appointed leaders as well. So an example would be in Exodus, chapter 14, when the people of Israel looked at Moses Exodus 14 and verse 11, and they said well, because there were no graves in Egypt, have you taken us away to die in the wilderness? Okay, what is Egypt most famously known for? Oh, it's graves.
Speaker 3:Giant pyramids. That's all it is. It's like that's the thing that they do. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you're saying was there not enough graves in Egypt for us? Well, that's sarcasm. We know God was ready to light them up like a Christmas tree. Moses, stand back. It didn't go over very well. That was unfair criticism there. Did I word that too strongly?
Speaker 1:No, I was just trying to think of who would do that today and how would you do it today. I was thinking the same application across the board.
Speaker 3:Who would be sarcastic with God?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what would that look like?
Speaker 3:Is this where I say the Lieutenant Dan bit about Forrest Gump?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, there's people who obviously optimally challenge God and his authority and his existence and his love. But like us, when we believe in God, we don't necessarily doubt that very much. But how can we be?
Speaker 2:sarcastic. Well, moses was a representative of God in this instance, so it's an extension of that same concept. And that's not to say you can't criticize or question leaders within the church or anything like that. I'm not trying to suggest that, I'm just saying that maybe sarcasm.
Speaker 3:Maybe not the best tool to do that with at first.
Speaker 2:Because another example of this would be King David when he was dancing when the Ark was returned. I know that story makes us uncomfortable because David was dancing, but notice his wife, michael's response. How glorious was the king of Israel today uncovering himself today in the eyes of the maids. And David said his response was it was before the Lord who chose me instead of your father. That's a good burn right there. You know where's your dad. You know he was the king, but God chose me, so I'm the king. God. You know he was the king, but God chose me, so I'm the king. But he also said I will be even more undignified than this and will be humble in my own sight. I was dancing for the Lord. It was an expression of true emotion and joy for returning the art to its rightful place. And how dare you criticize me for that? And so for the rest of her life she was neglected by David and had no children.
Speaker 1:And so you get one shot next week marital advice from David, you get one shot.
Speaker 3:Sarcasm in marriage.
Speaker 2:Oh, if I'm dancing in my underwear, for the Lord, keep your mouth shut.
Speaker 3:I don't care if your friends see me Sarcasm in marriage.
Speaker 1:That's an oil water scenario.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a that's a, that's a careful peanut butter cookies.
Speaker 2:But I'm reminded of Paul's. Paul's teaching in First Timothy, chapter five, verse 19, where he said do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses. It's not saying you can't make an accusation, you can't be critical, you can't question leadership within the church. I'm talking about the eldership in a local congregation. I'm not saying you can't challenge or question, but this tells me you need to do it with a certain amount of seriousness, and sarcasm is not appropriate for making accusations against leadership.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we don't really look at the position that an elder holds as set up by God, to expect a certain amount of respect and authority from. We might look at the person and kind of judge the person or joke with the person. I do think there's a healthy and we've talked about that. There's a great, I guess. Another podcast opportunity is how to interact with elders and what if you disagree with elders and things like this, and maybe the right way to approach those situations. You would hopefully approach them differently just because of the respect that's due the position that God has set up.
Speaker 2:You know I'm sure we'll get right on recording that future podcast episode I want that one Sarcasm.
Speaker 1:It'll have him, you'll see it.
Speaker 2:He's laying it on pretty thick.
Speaker 3:I was hoping he'd go there, Viewers, if you can name that movie, Extra Exhorter Points oh do we have Exhorter Points, the podcast, where? Everything.
Speaker 1:The points don't matter. Are we getting that? Points now that's all podcast, where everything you can name that and the points don't matter if you can name that.
Speaker 3:I don't even know what movie that's from tommy boy man.
Speaker 2:Come on bro oh, are you being?
Speaker 3:sarcastic there. Did you know where it was from?
Speaker 2:yeah, let me. Let me give one more word of caution with sarcasm as well. Uh, if you get into the area of flattery, where it's unnecessarily buttering someone up because you want something from them, that's a pretty bad place to be in. That's a pretty bad way to treat others. Proverbs is pretty harsh against flattery. Proverbs, chapter 26 and verse 18 says like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says I was only joking. So if you're using sarcasm in a hurtful way, then you walk it back.
Speaker 1:I feel like this episode is very much like the euphemisms one. Every time you say something I want to say, give me an example, which this entire conversation would just be sarcasm.
Speaker 3:That shirt looks so good on you today, kyle.
Speaker 1:It really accentuates your biceps, yeah is that it like I'm trying to? What would it be an example of?
Speaker 3:this flattery?
Speaker 1:I was just, I was just kidding, bro, your biceps so if, if you laughed at that, then it'd be funny, but if you didn't, he could just easily say I was just kidding, bro, I'm just messing.
Speaker 3:No big deal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they don't agree no, you're right, I'm just going with the flattery remark.
Speaker 3:I can see how sarcasm could could fall under under that. Oh, oh you. You look so good today, boss no turn around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that wasn't true yeah, maybe I can't imagine that ever working out like that's the maybe I'm only thinking contextually me saying that anything like this to my wife depends on the intelligence level of your boss or your wife I can't just imagine saying any of this to my wife and it not be Taylor's pretty smart, though she's an ass. Yeah, I know she's too smart, what I?
Speaker 2:take away from this is if your purpose and intent in sarcasm is simply to tear down or hurt and you try and walk it back by saying well, I was just kidding, I was just being sarcastic.
Speaker 2:But if your intent is simply to hurt, and that's where I come back to. I think the most instructive example is 1 Corinthians 4 in verse 14, when Paul says I write these things not to shame you, but to warn you. Paul had a purpose and a reason for sarcasm. Jesus had a reason for sarcasm because the Pharisees stood condemned and he was trying to in any way he could awaken them up to that reality. So if there is a purpose for it, that's a consideration. But if all you're trying to do is just sound funny at someone else's expense, if you're just being unnecessarily hurtful or if it's simply a matter of you said something I didn't like, so now I'm going to get you back Anything that sounds backhanded, anything that sounds yeah, mockery.
Speaker 1:It's basically just saying golden rule you know the way we should treat people. You know, we obviously know this you shouldn't be mean to people, you shouldn't say hurtful things, but sometimes we feel like we can get away with it with a little humor.
Speaker 2:If once you say that delivery system is sarcasm.
Speaker 1:I want to use a little humor. I want to say what I'm really feeling. But I want to use a little humor and get away with it, and that's that's how the delivery system is sarcasm. And then it's like, oh, I'll take it away.
Speaker 2:That just messes with you. That's what I think Proverbs 26 is talking about. There is your you're and walking it back by by shrouding it with humor or sarcasm, or I didn't really mean that, yeah, and obviously.
Speaker 1:But what you said was my point is it's a simple lesson, right? I mean we shouldn't be mean and rude and unkind to people. I mean that should be a simple but. But sometimes, like I said, we've we've learned this tool that we feel like we can use and get away with it.
Speaker 2:But then again, if you say something mean to me, but it's really really, really funny.
Speaker 3:I won't even be mad. I wanted to get roasted.
Speaker 1:I think that would be funny too, John.
Speaker 3:it would be very difficult to roast you. So this whole time I just keep coming back to this is a tool in the communicator's tool belt and it should be used, like any other tool, with caution and and thought. What is the situation I'm coming up on and which of these tools is going to be most effective? And then, if it's not effective, then you go to another tool and you just, you know, keep pulling out A hammer can be a very, very useful tool, but often not when you're doing mechanics or when you're working with glass, Right yeah?
Speaker 2:exactly Not. Not an appropriate tool for the job.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I grew up thinking that sarcasm was like all bad all the time, and and I got to a point where I learned, oh no, it's not necessarily all bad, all the time 's it's how you use it, which is funny, because it's not because you're one of the most.
Speaker 3:You're very sarcastic, like myself, so I I think it's funny that you you grew up thinking it was a bad thing yeah, it is because I think my mom used sarcasm one time in the workplace and it backfired on her and then she kind of like she told us us like this is what happened, you know, so don't be sarcastic. And I took it like gospel, like, oh, I can't be sarcastic.
Speaker 1:So so maybe just a kind of like a little check in there on self-check and empathy and self-reflection is, when you've used sarcasm inappropriately and it's gone bad, what are some signs of that? Because maybe people don't realize and know that Obviously you can see it on someone's face.
Speaker 2:If you have used sarcasm and it's backfired, please share your story in the comments.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, we'd love to hear, but that's the thing is, obviously there are some signs to know when you have and then we have a follow-up there.
Speaker 1:If you've said something sarcastic and you didn't necessarily you felt it was okay and it was appropriate, it was in jest and you got an adverse reaction, it is on us to apologize and to clear that up. I know there's certain relationships I have with people like you guys where you could say a lot of different things to each other and you know you're not going to hurt that one's feelings, where you could say a lot of different things to each other and you know you're not going to hurt that one's feelings. And so love those relationships that you have and cherish those and use it there. But don't experiment with sarcasm with people you've just met and that you don't quite know how it's going to be. And sometimes people have a bad day. Sometimes we put our foot in our mouth and we find out that that is the worst thing to do and that's when we follow up and that's when we do that so is the worst thing to do and that's when we follow up and that's where we do that.
Speaker 1:So it's tread lightly right, Use with a warning. It's not saying never be sarcastic at all, obviously yeah.
Speaker 2:And if someone's sarcastic towards you don't be.
Speaker 1:I'm always encouraging people show some grace. I'm always encouraging people. Show some grace grace, always encouraging people show some grace. Yeah, I mean trust me, I've had lots of sarcastic jabs my direction so I have learned to uh, smile and nod and oh, that's so funny.
Speaker 3:Either show some grace that later, either show some grace or come up with a sarcastically sarcastic remark, equally coming back. Yeah, right away. Yeah, yeah, as long as it's as sarcastic or better.
Speaker 1:You know games even well, in this context, I know the listener uh, specifically brought this up in the sense of, you know, backhanded comments being, you know, exclusion and then, um, sarcasm. All of these things kind of give people negative feelings and make people feel bad and obviously that's not anyone's intention, hopefully that's not your intention in using sarcasm. And so one of those things is just tread lightly and be careful and then if you have offended someone, fix it.
Speaker 2:Sarcasm is like my garam masala spice. It's good when I'm making chicken tikka masala, but sarcasm is not salt that goes on everything.
Speaker 1:It's bad on Cheerios oh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was a good analogy, kyle. Thank you for an excellent discussion. I don't know if I can say that seriously. Kyle great episode, Great episode. I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:Hey, thanks Me too. Episode. I really enjoyed it. Hey, thanks me too.
Speaker 3:No, but it was a good discussion of sarcasm and I had never thought that in depth about it as a tool to use for communication, and so now I have my heuristic formed about sarcasm. Thanks, Kyle.
Speaker 2:Appreciate that To you, our audience. We thank you for listening and if this episode or any episode we've done in the past, has been helpful, we'd like to know that. We appreciate your feedback. Look us up on Facebook and follow for the latest updates on upcoming episodes. Like, subscribe. See you guys later, see you next time, let's see, let's do. Contemporary english version. I wish everyone who is upsetting you would not only get circumcised, but would cut off much more little sarcasm from paul that reminds me of the robin man in tights.
Speaker 1:I'll have two, right the moil, he's all I want one. He he said I'll have two. That's a little extra.
Speaker 3:Isn't sarcasm with God? Would that be like Lieutenant Dan when he's in the midst of the storm?
Speaker 1:no legs at the top.
Speaker 3:Is that all you got? Come on God, Lieutenant Dan, you got legs and he was mad.
