Exhorter Podcast
Welcome to the Exhorter Podcast where we aim to stir up love and good works, through bite-sized biblical discussion. This local effort of the Church of Christ located in Clovis California is hosted by Kyle Goodwin, Paul Nerland, Nate Shankels, and Jon Bradford.
Exhorter Podcast
44 - Rekindling Lost Love in Faith & Marriage
Remember the excitement of the start of a relationship? Those little notes, sweet gestures, and genuine eagerness to impress? In this episode, we explore the reminiscent charm of the initial stages of relationships and also draw a parallel to the early days of our conversion. Listen as we dissect the Church of Ephesus from Revelation 2, a congregation so steeped in doctrine they lost sight of their initial passion, their first love. This is not a tale of yesteryears, but a timely reminder of the peril of going through the motions, of letting the flame dwindle in our service to others and our relationships.
Contact the Exhorter Podcast
Thanks for listening!
Welcome to the Exordered Podcast. We're here to stir up love and good works through bite-sized biblical discussion. Today we are here with Nate and Kyle, and Paul is not here. Paul is. He has an oldest daughter going to college, so he's spending time with her over the summer here and with the family.
Speaker 2:So he's getting a little break and we're in the studio so, but seriously, if he's not back next week, we're keeping to the pirates code and leaving him behind. Yeah, yeah, although we do feel the absence of solid super wisdom, wisdom and supervision, wisdom.
Speaker 1:Yes, he is missed, but we will. Uh, treadjohn Kyle, you have our topic today. What are we gonna be talking about?
Speaker 2:yeah, I want to spend a little bit of time in Revelation, chapter two, specifically the first seven verses, as we get a good look at the church in Ephesus. Now, of course, the book of Revelation begins with seven short letters addressed to these seven churches of Asia, and the first of which is Ephesus, and it's described as a church that has many good qualities, and Jesus gives them some compliments up front, most notably that they stand up against false teaching and they resist and test those who claim to be apostles but are false apostles and certain specific false teachings they oppose. So they get a very high passing grade when it comes to soundness and perseverance in the truth. However, when we get to verse four, jesus says nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love. What does that look like to you guys? What would you imagine the church in Ephesus was like? How would you describe a church like Ephesus that is very doctrinally sound but they've lost their first love? What does that mean?
Speaker 3:I think that it means going through the motions. I think that they're just going through the motions their heart isn't in it, that they're doing it well, because I think this is where I know this is the right thing to do. But I don't really care all that much, I just I'm doing it because it's right that's what we've always done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because, because they're sound, but it's just not zealous, it's not full of zeal and love.
Speaker 2:So it's maybe it's missing that mark still well, and they maybe they've settled into a comfortable routine as well, yeah, or a deep rut, that's.
Speaker 1:That's oftentimes what happens this happens all the time, right, I mean are you talking about like personally or as a congregation?
Speaker 1:both right, I mean this it's kind of like just waves of you know. Sometimes you're kind of going through you know a season, maybe right, where it just feels like a lull, and sometimes then we have gospel meetings or you have other things that kind of then ramp things up and people are now shown up more or more excited for work. But as far as a church goes, I feel like this is something that we can identify with.
Speaker 2:Over the years, ebbs and flows of well you might maybe phrase it a different way that they, they've forgotten their why, their motive, their central motivational point.
Speaker 2:Why are we doing these things? And of course, the Bible identifies in Matthew 22, beginning in verse 37, that when Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, he said to love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind, and that the second was like it you should love your neighbor as yourself. And on these two laws depend the whole Bible. Everything is hinged on that concept of loving God and loving your neighbor as yourself. And when we lose that motivation, when that love, that, that fire that is the love for God and love for others begins to fade out, we can still go through the motions and still do a lot of things right, but more out of routine, and I think we do less evangelism and and we're less excited about these things, but we still do it, and that's not good enough, though so I just the verse that came to mind, or the passage was in, I think it's in Matthew 7 not everyone who says to me, lord, lord, we'll enter the kingdom of heaven.
Speaker 3:Like you know, we can be going through the motions, but we have a major heart problem, and God knows and he wants us to get our heart right. Yes, we should. We should do the right actions too, but we we want to do them with the right attitude and the right, the right mindset and and with that motivation of love which is really just service to others, caring about others and what's good for them well, and it says here in verse 6 that this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaotans, which I also hate.
Speaker 2:Now, for all my study, I still don't know who the Nicolaotans were, but obviously they represent some sort of false teaching.
Speaker 3:I just I just think they didn't make very much money.
Speaker 1:The way he said that. I thought he was saying Kyle said, which I hate.
Speaker 3:Guys too.
Speaker 2:I hate the dime leotons, so it seems like no more, no more, nate, you're cut off, no more.
Speaker 2:No more dad but it seems to me like Ephesus is a church that was able to define themselves by what they were not, and we see this sometimes today. Things that are important so don't hear what I'm not saying non institutional, non-dominational, non cooperative, non Whatever, those are all things that we have reasons For the authority of the scripture. What they authorize a church to do, what they do not authorize a church to do, those are all very important things. But if that's all, we have to define ourselves. That's what I see in Ephesus. They were against these false teachings, but what were they for? What did they believe in? What did they pursue? And I think that's where they're lacking.
Speaker 1:Well, it's also not a recipe for growth. I think that's another key right there is. I've known congregations and to be very focused on doctrine, but maybe in in in such a way that maybe they're not very evangelistic or open and receiving, of bringing more people in, but more Making sure that we, the wolves, don't come in, so you know that kind of thing. So I think that you need to have this things which are important, but you can't have you can't have, only only that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the protective nature, you gotta go. The conservative, the conserving of truth there has to be more than that.
Speaker 1:It's like the analogy of the milk and the meat. You know, when it comes to spiritual maturity, and you can't just stay at that level, right, you can't just stay. You can't stay at that milk level for forever.
Speaker 3:You got to grow, you got to move forward, you got to mature to me it's almost like the they had the knowledge down, but the the living. It Wasn't there as a congregation.
Speaker 1:How do we know that we've lost our first love?
Speaker 2:Oh, okay how do we?
Speaker 1:know that we've gotten stale, and then how do we fix that? I'm sure we'll get into some tips and some things for all aspects of our life. But how? How do we identify if you're in a congregation?
Speaker 2:that is like well, it starts on an individual level as well. You know, congregation is made up of individuals. So if, on an individual scale, we are Forgetting our first love, that fire is going out, it's gonna be reflected in the congregation, but so it's all reflective thing, am I that way?
Speaker 1:and then we're not wanting to judge everyone's level of zeal around here, but just as as a congregation of people you know, it's kind of interesting to think about.
Speaker 3:I think one of the indicators maybe and maybe not, but I think one of the indicators is the attendance number on the board. You got people who are, who are showing up and you have numbers that are going up. I think that is an indicator. I don't think that it's everything, but I think it is an indicator, which is why we record that information, because it indicates to us what might be Happening and, as far as a church that is like has not lost its first love, I think that those are the churches that are gonna be growing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not a full indicator of, but definitely contributing factor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think it's just one.
Speaker 1:These kinds of things you know, do we have Bible studies outside of worship times engaged and Attended throughout the weeks? Are we inviting people? You know?
Speaker 2:I think that evidence of a congregation losing its first love is when there is little beyond a Sunday morning gathering. That, to me, is an indication that your faith has become Simply routine, a part of your weekly schedule. And it's easy to slip into this rut because I, like the people at church, it's not a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon singing some songs and visiting with some of my good friends, and it's easy to walk away feeling positive and Encouraged and feeling like I spent the day correctly. I did my duty as a Christian. I went to church, I got credit for it, I stayed awake, I get extra credit and Now I just go about the week. This was just one thing in the middle of the week. That is just part of my routine.
Speaker 2:But do I talk about God any of the rest of the week, on Monday at work? Do I talk about God at home when I get home after work on Wednesday afternoon, or am I Studying for the Bible class that's coming up on Wednesday or Sunday? Am I participating in some of the studies that go on in people's homes during the week? Am I calling people during the week that were announced as being sick or having Something come up in their lives or they need some encouragement or even maybe even need some help. Am I going and helping people during the week? Am I talking to others about the Bible, evangelistically? I think those are all the signs that you want to see. I mean, ultimately, it comes down to what's your motivation. Are you here out of duty? Responsibility? I owe it to God. It's something I need to do. It's a box I need to check or is it as an overflow of?
Speaker 1:love. So I have a twofold thing here. I'm gonna be first as a deacon that does Different things, like this podcast and other things Does work sometimes. I need to make sure that I am not also going through the motions of just doing this work. But you know, just being busy Right, just I'm just trying to get a bulletin out, maybe even having read it right, like I haven't even read the bulletin that week, you know, I just tried to format it and get it out and so I kind of want need to guard myself that I'm not also going through the motions. But then now let me be brash and obnoxious. I'm gonna be that guy.
Speaker 1:John, you're already done, I'm gonna be obnoxious here and say, if you're the type that it's invited to go to a brother-in-house for an occasion, a Social occasion, a lunch or a singing or something, take advantage of those opportunities please. There are so many people here and there that I've known over the years that no matter what you do to try to get them to have a connection outside of 9 30 am to 11 30 am and 5 pm To 6 pm On Sunday, any connection outside of that. There's been so many people I've tried to over the years Develop a relationship with and it's like they've already. They already have those relationships. They don't need one. They're this is a routine part of their life.
Speaker 1:And I said I don't want to be obnoxious and call people out and but the reason is, is I want to have a relationship with you. Yeah, like I want to have a friendship. You know I, if we're people are hosting and they're they're reaching out and they're invite people to be a part of their lives, take advantage of it. It's only gonna help you out In this Christian walk that we have to have. Yeah, fellow brethren, you're connected to and I just I get discouraged when you try to do those kinds of things and you're. You're getting the same people not coming or not wanting to participate, and then you start wondering Is it me or is it just? They're in a routine, maybe?
Speaker 1:or yeah, we're not a big part of their lives and that's kind of disconcerting so.
Speaker 2:I think if we consider this in a different setting, namely the marriage relationship, I think that's a bit more relatable and probably would help us understand and get a better grasp on what it looks like to lose your first love.
Speaker 1:Kyle, my marriage is fine.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we thought this was going to be about the church, but really it's just going to be Kyle is just rebuking us on our marriages.
Speaker 2:Well, this is a two for one episode Two for one.
Speaker 2:We talk about. You know, and I don't want to focus too much on the church, because it's easy to detach yourself and say well, you know, maybe the church has lost its first love, but not me, Sure. I want you to think personally about your own faith as part of the congregation. But this is also a two for one episode, because I think we can make some very excellent points and observations about marriage, because marriage is not always going to be fun. It will be challenging and it's not always going to be easy, like when you're first dating or that first year of marriage. It's not easy for everybody but generally speaking, it starts off pretty smooth and then it sometimes you get in these ruts and well, what does it look like in marriage? What does this look like? The same description Ephesus does all the right things on paper and they perform all their duties to God on paper, but they've lost their first love. The love is not there. What does that look like in marriage?
Speaker 3:You're going through the motions with your spouse, you might be doing all of the right things. It's like the analogy of like being roommates. It's like she's got her thing going on, I've got my thing going on. We both do what is necessary in order for the household to function.
Speaker 2:I'll still pay the bills. I'll still go to work. I'll still help watch the children. I'll be a good dad Right. I'll keep the lawn cut. I'll hold up my end of the bargain. You hold up your end of the bargain. Let's just make this work, but the passion is not there. Yeah, yeah, and you're just roommates.
Speaker 3:You're like love for the other person and desire to see them fulfilled and desire for them to I don't know just enjoy life and have the things that they need. To have their needs met is not like it was when you were first dating.
Speaker 1:I think it's ebbs and flows over life.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We're like that, and usually it's like there's certain milestones. When you have your first kid, right, you are not the center of attention anymore, right, you're not the center of attention, but you're the kid. And then the however many kids you have, I mean, as that grows, life just becomes a little more difficult and more distracting and you start. You don't take as much time for that relationship, that original relationship, as you should.
Speaker 2:So how do you recognize this in marriage? How do you recognize that's what the question you asked about the church how do you recognize when a church or you personally have lost that first love with regard to your faith? When is it evident in marriage Attendance?
Speaker 1:Did they stop coming home? No Well that's a good thing, I mean someone, literally avoid, I mean guys. We have a tendency to an opportunity sometimes to avoid our families by staying at work longer or doing more work, or doing these things, finding recreational activities to do on the weekends, when that's the only time we would have had time for our family.
Speaker 2:Golf podcast. Yeah, and even sitting around the dinner table where, on paper, you're doing the thing a family, a good family, should do You're having dinner together, but if your phones are all out and no one's talking to each other, oh yeah, have you lost your first love. You're not a family oriented family.
Speaker 1:You get them, kyle, you tell them. Well without Paul here your phones, people without Paul.
Speaker 2:Here I definitely have the most marriage seniority here 18 years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's because they won't let me combine my two numbers. Oh.
Speaker 3:I get it.
Speaker 1:I try to add my yeah, it doesn't work.
Speaker 2:Been married as long as Nate's wife has been alive.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Wow Thanks.
Speaker 2:Kyle, two of us in a row, you can believe that that's all right.
Speaker 1:Kyle, staying in there, that's all right. That's a little hanging fruit. You can pull that one out.
Speaker 3:You know, in Sanger they really don't have any idea of fair fighting.
Speaker 2:So oh no, no, we fight dirty for sure. Yeah, yeah, no joke, you'd like to, but that's how we'd recognize it is. You're just, you're going through the motions, but you're just not really. It's not that exciting anymore. It's just the routine you're in. You have dinner at the same time Every night, you do the same things over and over and over again. There's the rut you get stuck in and you're just on autopilot. You're doing the right things technically, but the passion is gone. So, in marriage, let's start and work our way back towards our faith by asking with regard to marriage, we identify it. How do we course correct Marriage?
Speaker 3:So I read something one time said do the loving thing, and the loving feelings will come. Like just you know, maybe you don't feel a lot of love toward your spouse today. That's just life sometimes, so you may not want to, I don't know, leave her a nice note in the morning, or you know, I don't know, do the dishes, do them anyway, and those feelings of love and concern for the other person will start to come.
Speaker 2:Did you do those things when you were dating?
Speaker 3:Well, I didn't do the dishes while we were dating.
Speaker 2:No, but like little notes.
Speaker 3:Yes, lots of them.
Speaker 2:Random flowers.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Just random romantic things.
Speaker 3:The Post-it company made a lot of money off of me. I made a lot of those little notes.
Speaker 2:And at some point and not every marriage is the same but I'm going to go out on a limb and say most of them follow this basic trend At some point that grinds to a halt and you're just not doing that kind of stuff anymore.
Speaker 2:And over time, the nature of your marriage is going to change as you mature and grow through life, and I'm a different person than I was when I met Jessica at age 17. So, yeah, okay, not everything's going to be exactly the same, but consider the advice that Jesus well, I won't say advice the instruction that Jesus gives to the church in Ephesus, Revelation 2 and verse 5,. He says Remember, therefore, from where you have fallen, repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place unless you repent. So he says Remember, Remember how things were at first, repent, which means change your behavior and do the things you did at first. So think about it in terms of your marriage. What kinds of things did you do when you first met your wife? What kinds of little things did you do to show her that you loved her?
Speaker 3:Woo her.
Speaker 2:Well, that's the difference. Is you're trying?
Speaker 1:to You're assuming I needed to do anything. Oh, John.
Speaker 3:You're assuming-.
Speaker 1:Well, you know women, so yeah, I do, I did, I did, I did, I thought I did, I lost it. Yeah, you just made the time and effort in your days to you just more time. Honestly, that's probably one of the things that you hear most from wives, and from even husbands, that you kind of lose over the time when you're spending a lot of time taking care of the kids and everything you just lose-. Lost that time and that time dedicated to spend together and something's-.
Speaker 2:It was really important. Something's got to give. You have kids. You have legitimate polls on your time now.
Speaker 1:We could probably just hire someone to take care of them and then yeah, Nannies. Nannies. Can we afford nannies? Well, government.
Speaker 2:Because the legitimate point I was trying to make was that something's got to give, and maybe that means less television or less golf or less whatever, whatever sacrifice you need to make If you have kids, and maybe when you first got married you didn't have to work much because you lived cheaply in an apartment and you were poor and happy and didn't care, but now you have more bills to pay and more responsibilities, so you have to work a little bit more and you've got other legitimate polls on your time, like having kids. Something else has to go, because you need to sit down and talk to your wife a little bit every day.
Speaker 1:Honestly. Phones and media and everything can get the chopping block first Whenever we get chimed. I was walking around the building this morning and someone else's amount on your phone. What is it called?
Speaker 2:The weekly screen time popped up on there too. Screen usage.
Speaker 1:And they said oh no, and I said I removed that notification.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be reminded, but that's the thing is.
Speaker 1:Anytime we look at those things, we are astonished at how much time we've looked at our phone.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, you're right, and that's a big one.
Speaker 1:I just need how many. If you could replace the amount of minutes that you looked at your phone by the amount of minutes you looked at your wife alone, that would have been. I mean, you should be annoyed by that A big difference. You're just staring at her all the time.
Speaker 2:Well, think about your mindset too. When you first met your wife before you were married, what was your mindset? You were trying to as Nate pointed out earlier wooing. You were trying to win her. You were trying to win her affection and you went out of your way to do kind things for her. I mean, I know I did. I used to open the car door. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah I can't remember when the last time I did that.
Speaker 3:Was that one just gone by the wayside? Yeah, I need to work on that.
Speaker 2:I used to leave notes behind when I we dated long distance in high school. I'd come visit in Idaho and I'd leave notes behind, or a mix CD. I don't know, do kids Maybe?
Speaker 3:it would be a no, they don't know. It would be a playlist. You said my meme.
Speaker 1:Yeah, send my meme.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I would do little things. I'd be away from her in Portland and I'd see something and maybe think of her. I'd buy it and say I'm going to give this to her next time I see her and she just loved little things like that. The most special thing ever is she surprised me in Oregon one time and I didn't know she was coming to visit and the day before I went for a walk in my neighborhood and some kids left street chalk and I just wrote a big heart with a J and a K in it. And then she shows up the next day and I'm like let's go for a walk. And she knew that there was no way. I knew she was coming, but she saw that and just that was one of the most special things she said. I ever did Just a little way to show like I was thinking about you.
Speaker 3:So that stood for Jessica and Kyle, not just kidding, right, correct?
Speaker 2:The solution that Jesus says is remember how things used to be and repent and do those things again. And so if your marriage is starting to fizzle a little bit, just think back to the fun times when you were first dating. Or I remember us being poor and living in an apartment and I didn't care that we were poor, we just had so much fun Just sitting and watch a movie, we'd go for a walk somewhere. Any simple little thing was fun just because I liked being around her, we liked talking to each other, we liked spending time getting to know each other and it just kind of we got busy with life, we had kids, we moved, we got jobs and more bills and it just kind of fades away and things aren't going to be exactly like they were when you first met, but remember what that was like and do some of those things.
Speaker 3:It takes effort intentionality yes, it does.
Speaker 2:And I think your point was very well stated that. What was the loving feeling? Woo, no, the loving feeling. Do the loving thing, loving.
Speaker 3:No, do the loving thing and the loving feeling will come. Yes, that one, yeah, yeah, yeah, and that will woo her.
Speaker 2:So let's take this back to our faith. I think the same approach can apply if we recognize that we have lost our first love, if that fire for God is fading out. We understand how this works in marriage and it just takes some effort and some intentionality. I think we can do the same things. What was it like when you were first baptized? What kinds of things did you do when you were first baptized?
Speaker 3:Well, I kind of thought that I would never be tempted again. I was wrong. No, some of the things that I did I remember well okay. So my faith after I was first baptized? It was very fickle. I was baptized, I believe, because I knew that it was the right thing to do, but I really didn't have a great understanding of what Christianity was all about. I just knew that it was about obeying what the Bible said. So I feel like I was more on the going through the motion side than having the right heart Fast forward to your born-again moment. Then oh, yes, yes, yes. So at that point I remember I was in college and I remember thinking I spent an hour a day at least on homework. I should spend at least an hour in the Bible every day, like what's more important. And I did. I would sit down at my desk in my little apartment and I would not just read but study the Bible for at least an hour. I mean, that was most days. And then I would pray very frequently.
Speaker 2:I would pray a lot and Well, that's just like when I first met Jessica. I wanted to learn more and more about her, I wanted to know everything about her, and we talked and talked and talked. And there's your parallel to prayer we talked and talked and talked all the time on the phone. Sometimes we talk and just like oh man. And that's back when long distance calls were a thing.
Speaker 3:And.
Speaker 2:I think you're making a great point here. When I first was baptized, I wanted to learn everything in the Bible. I had a hunger and a thirst for it and I reached a point where I felt like I knew it all and just stopped trying. But that's a foolish mistake.
Speaker 3:I'm still surprised today at how much there is to know and learn, and I have these epiphany moments like, oh wow, I had no idea that that's what that meant, and I've been a Christian for I don't know 20 years, so I should keep talking. Yes, was that a question? I had 20 years.
Speaker 2:Well, another thing that I think characterized my born again newness in the faith kind of mentality was I wanted to grow. I wanted to learn to do more things. So in high school I started learning how to preach a sermon. I would go I'd skip class at school and go meet with the preacher at church and say can you teach me how to outline and prepare a sermon? I want to do more, I want to learn to do things. And I started to learn a little bit of song leading and I wanted to learn how to do this and learn how to do that and eventually I found my role preaching every Sunday and teaching Bible class and I stopped progressing as a song leader. And for those who are at the Church of Christ here in Clovis, we lost one of our truly great song leaders, adam Kitt. He moved away, so I need to make that clear. We lost him, as in we lost another one to the East Coast.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:No, he's still alive.
Speaker 1:He's dead to us. He's dead. He crossed the.
Speaker 3:He's no longer with us. He's no longer with us, he's with somebody else and I just Another congregation.
Speaker 2:And now it's more apparent that we need some guys to step up, and especially like introducing new songs and things like that. It's more apparent to me now that think about how much more confident of a song leader could I be had. I kept pursuing that, but I got comfortable in my role as putting together sermons. I grew into that role and I stopped growing in other areas and this was kind of a wake up call for me. I need to get back to pushing myself to improve as a song leader and keep growing. That's how it was at first. I wanted to learn to do more things.
Speaker 1:One thing you mentioned about the prayers. There's this book called Fierce Marriage, and the authors created another couple of books. I haven't looked them. I mean I looked through them a little bit but there's one that's 40 prayers for your husband or, and there's another one, 40 prayers for your wife, and it goes through and basically outlines a prayer that you can pray about or for your wife in their choices or their attitude or their love or joy. And I think that that's one thing that we don't do enough of is pray for people, as we talked about, even the congregation, praying for the zeal of the congregation and praying for our own zeal. But then on our relationships, I think, taking the specific time and think about how we're going to, with God's help, encourage and uplift our spouse through prayer and what we would want for them in our relationships, I think that's an excellent point, john, about Praying.
Speaker 3:You know, kyle, you had mentioned the passage talks about you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. This is the first and most important commandment and then you shall love your neighbor as yourself. And if we really love those in our congregation, then we should pray for them, and I think that's part of the first love within a congregation.
Speaker 1:So I think of not everyone is as blessed as us right now of having good relationships with our spouses. Some people are in those times it could be in those times of their lives where it is more of a struggle. There's probably some times where you don't think there is a lot you can do. You know, to encourage and make, you know to ignite the love in your spouse, you know for you. But I think that taking the opportunity of seeing that we do have the power of prayer, we do have that opportunity to get God's help in doing that.
Speaker 1:So I remember what was that movie? Cameron Diaz, kirk Kirk Cameron. What was that movie years ago? Fireproof, fireproof, right, and the whole premise of that movie was that the relationship got so volatile it basically didn't have a relationship and as he was discovering his way to kind of woo her back, it was doing things for her every day, despite their reaction. I think that's a big key. There is is a lot of times you can try to do something or you're wanting to make that effort, but it's not reciprocated. You think, okay, well, you know why bother, and I think that that's what you mean by doing the work and the benefits will come from that is do it whole heartedly, do it without reciprocation, do it continuously and see how you're going to. You know, ignite that love again in your spouse, or that wonder that once was there.
Speaker 2:Well, commitment. I don't want to knock commitment too hard in this episode, because commitment is important.
Speaker 2:There are going to be times in your faith where you're just not feeling it. You're struggling emotionally and spiritually, and commitment might be what keeps you here on Sundays. It might be what keeps you from crossing lines you shouldn't cross. And in marriage there's going to be times where it's a real challenge, where you aren't on the same page as your spouse and you're really struggling to feel the love for your spouse. And it is commitment that will carry you through those times. But God doesn't want our marriages to remain loveless.
Speaker 2:Good, yes, yes and he doesn't want our faith to remain loveless. Commitment will carry us through the rough times and the challenges and the obstacles, but marriage or faith neither can thrive on commitment alone. God wants the love and fire to be there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it may not happen all sudden. I mean, it's a long suffering, right. That's the whole point, you know, of putting that in there. That's a virtue that we should take on, but also just stay with it, because it all happens in seasons of life. You see, people go through different seasons of life. None of our kids are even growing up yet. Credit it loud. I hear that some of the best years is when the kids are all growing up and now the house and now you have all this time to refocus and kind of get back into that marriage. Now, hopefully, what we're talking about is don't drift so hard that that time is more difficult. But what can we do to stay engaged and stay completely infatuated and in love like we once were?
Speaker 3:Someone told me one time and it'll stick with me forever. Is it Psalm 23? Yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. And then she would say I don't set up my camp there, I keep walking. Maybe I'm not feeling the love for my spouse, or maybe I'm in just struggling with my faith, so you feel like you're walking through the valley of the shadow of death. Well, don't stop in the valley, keep walking and you'll eventually get through that particular. You'll get through it.
Speaker 2:If I could kind of wrap up this episode, I would just encourage you that if you're in your marriage, if you were one of our married audience members and you're in one of those rough spots right now where commitment is carrying you through, I would strongly encourage. My encouragement to you is just stay with it with the commitment. It's challenging, marriage is going to have difficult times, but you need to stick with it and you need to have that hope and persevere Well, because it's what God expects of us and we should work through the difficult times in our marriage. But the reward is there. When we put in the effort to work through those things, we come out stronger. Our relationship is stronger and the same thing with our faith. Commitment might carry us through, but if you're struggling in your faith and you feel like that fire has gone out, it's a simple formula. It takes effort and intentionality. But think back to how things were when you first started and do those things again with renewed commitment.
Speaker 3:Kyle, thank you for that great topic on losing your first love and what we can do if we're struggling with our faith or if we're struggling with our marriage. If you're listening today, ask yourself are you struggling in your faith? Are you struggling in your marriage? We want to encourage you to go back to the things that you did at first in those relationships, in your relationship with God, in your relationship with your spouse, and if we can help with that, reach out and we would love to help. If you found value in this episode, please share it with others, If you can like, and subscribe. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1:All right, nothing recorded. Nothing recorded. Nothing recorded. This doesn't happen very often. We'll start over again. Now we can clean it up, because I think we went four directions me and Nate, before we got back to you, were staying, staying, wanting to stay, biblical crazy. So why were you wanting to say biblical man, are you?
Speaker 3:recording now. Yeah, we are. Are you recording now? Okay, so my insults will be recorded this time.
Speaker 1:And I'll be looking at it more intently. It was a new card and I don't think it was formatted, so I think it just kind of stopped.
Speaker 2:Don't use that technical jargon on us.
Speaker 3:You could just say I just I did it wrong, say it, I messed up, repent.
Speaker 2:Maybe you take a look at your wife and realize she's pretty plain when are you going?
Speaker 3:I?
Speaker 2:walked through the valley of the shat where I harvest my grain. Oh weird, I delete, delete.
